The day I learned the power of a single flogger

I picked my person for the main-stage FourPlay performance because I needed someone who could endure annoying pain. I didn’t raise his hopes too high for our performance — this wasn’t about his personal journey, but about entertainment. I even told him to bring an extra shirt so the floggers wouldn’t make him suffer more than necessary. To my greatest surprise, he agreed to do the performance with me.

The LED light whips look stunning — a bundle of transparent plastic threads through which the light flows, turning every spin into a wheel of fireworks. On the skin, they pretty much redefine the word stingy — the kind of sensation most people find simply irritating. We practiced a little in the basement before the show. My person wasn’t impressed but he is still committed to doing the show with me.

Around 11 p.m., we go on stage. I warm his skin a little, but not too much. And so, we begin.

I start flogging him rhythmically, matching the high-intensity melodic techno by Stallo pulsing through the main floor of KitKat. I strike on every beat, following the waves of melody with the intensity. I check in — he’s fine. I flog him more, check again — still okay. About ten minutes in, he begins to move his body, and when I look at him, he smiles. “I feel great!” he shouts into my ear through the thick layers of music. I smile and continue.

He moves deeper into trance; I match his energy, intensifying as the music builds. When I check in again, he’s fully in trance — smiling, radiant, asking for more. I ask if he wants to put on a T-shirt. “Oh no!” he replies without hesitation.

We go full power. My floggers blaze with light; I trust my partner completely and lose myself in the music. A friend guards the space, keeping wandering bodies clear of the orbit of my floggers, and I give it my 100% — spinning in air, striking the beautiful body in front of me, surrendering to the rhythm. I can see my strikes carving wheels of fire in the air, bursting into fireworks the moment they touch my partner’s skin. Every motion falls perfectly in sync with the beat — with the beautiful waves of techno.

When we finally stop — mostly because I need a break — my wonderful partner is glowing with the smile of utter, heavenly pleasure. He’s far beyond “fine.” He’s tripping hard. With my support, we step off the stage. He’s still floating. We sit down, I hand him water, and he’s radiating bliss.

“I’m never going to a party again without this natural high,” he says, still only half-consciously. “It feels so f*cking good.”

At that moment, I understood: any pain can be good pain if it finds the right person in the right way. You don’t need your favorite thuddy sensation, an arsenal of toys, or even intense pain. Sometimes a single, irritatingly stingy flogger can turn someone’s night into unforgettable magic — if there is connection, attention, and communication.