Two Pairs of Hands and a rare kind of One Masochist: Sandra’s Story
Sandra kindly wrote up her experience of the 4-hour session she booked and gave me permission to share it. It is a special account of a rare kind of masochist, in her own words.
I’ve been visiting Master Samael for a little over a year. My reason to contact him was seemingly simple: I hadn’t felt rope for years unless I put it on by myself. And while I was already visiting him... maybe I was a bit masochistic- but could we test how much? I was so scared initially. What kind of man was I meeting there? Was it really ok to ask for rope as a heavier person? He has described me as “guarded” before. That’s a pretty accurate way to describe it. Careful, unsure, afraid to be an imposition are other descriptions. I’m also quite a bit of a chicken.
Samael was incredibly welcoming and observant right from the start and I have learned to trust him. Oh, and that I AM quite a bit of a masochist when handled appropriately. We have added to what we do bit by bit and that included adding Hekate for a brief time in a recent session. The idea of being handled by two persons had me very nervous, but the two of them made it very easy for me. Almost casual. I liked hearing their very natural way of communicating with each other and their reciprocal way of playing with me. So a few sessions later I asked whether Hekate would join us again longer this time.
Most of the time my sessions with Samael have two parts: Starting with Shibari - almost meditative, calming me (or us) down, and holding me in the moment with this other person – mixed with a little teasing pain play; followed by much more intense pain play. This time the routine was changed a little. Samael bound me semi-suspended, which I very much like. He left me quite a bit of freedom to move while still being fixed to the furniture and the ceiling. By the time he was done I was utterly calm. I’ve been told that I look calm be my surrounding in “normal life”, but that’s mostly only “skin-deep”. When I’m in ropes it becomes true. So true that apparently a knife coming out to play doesn’t faze me too much. At least when I’ve been told that it would be included. And I’ve watched it be disinfected one more time. And when I’ve been told that the goal is scratches, not cuts. And I know scratches! Scratches made by fingernails being dragged across my skin. Scratches caused by pinwheel. Scratches are nice! Scratches are a very mindful caress. Something to enjoy. Even when delivered with a pretty martial knife. It also feels nice to actually trust someone.
But this time the scratching wasn’t just a sensation to enjoy in itself. It was preparation. So were the ropes. Apparently this time the “more painful part” was to start before the ropes came off: signalled by Hekates arrival. I was again very relieved at how easy and natural both Hekate and Samael manage such transitions without awkwardness. Yes, I was more scared of that than of the knife...
While preparing for this session we had talked about tunnel play using ginger or chilli. We had already performed a small test with that before, but this time it was planned to be one of the main components of the play. And even though the last test was not that bad I was worried. I had used heat patches for back pain before. I had to remove them much, much earlier than planned because they got to warm and hurt. I also can’t eat spicy stuff. At all! Yes, I know I wasn’t supposed to eat anything this time, but receptors are receptors, thank you very much! I was WORRIED! However the ropes are still calming and so was Hekate. She started with a bit of explanation and both Samael and Hekate kept up communication with me at all times. And they admirably worked with my sometimes probably less than clear answers. Yes it’s a bit warm. Yes still. On a scale from one to ten? No idea! How am I supposed to put a numerical value to a feeling?! Especially when I have no idea what the values actually feel like?! Why can I never explain that to the sadist so they understand?! ;-) Rant over. They managed a good read (I think) from my descriptive utterances like “it’s getting warm”, “quite a bit warm”, “no, it’s not that bad”, “the skin feels somehow... stretched? tight?” and ramped up the intensity bit by bit by increasing Scoville on my scratched up torso. To my relief this region remained “quite warm” during the experiment. Both were admirably eager to help distract me while the heat was building by adding nipple clamps. Should I ever tell them that I only start hating clamps when I can no longer stay on my back but have to sit up? Probably not. Hekate gently added more delicate parts to the areas covered by chilli. The most difficult part at this point was being asked again in game to actions I had already consented to before. There is a lot of playful resistance in me, which I will have to deal with better at some point. But she asked so nicely – so, yes, go ahead and do mean things to me, please! And she did: whipping my foot and using those mean little finger floggers on my torso and the still clamped nipples HURT! But it was a good hurt; one that I can process. Unexpectedly for me it was the ropes around my ribs that started to cause too much pain. Go figure.
Hekate excused herself for a bit while Samael gently got me out of the ropes and cleaned up. So she missed the worst burning I received from the chilli treatment: while cleaning myself up I accidently transferred a diluted bit of it to my inner labia. “Et jitt kei jrößer Leid, als dat wat man sich selver andät.” („There is no greater pain than the pain we bring upon ourselves.“) I guess. Maybe I should have kept that bit of information to myself....
By the time Samael put me on the bench and began hitting me the burning had subsided and Hekate returned. Being on a spanking bench them between is a bit like being on a rollercoaster. Or being surrounded by two sharks. Very observant sharks. Circling. Literally. Clockwise mostly. I couldn’t describe what they used in detail and it doesn’t really matter. What I know is a journey with ups and downs consisting of impact with varying intensities, with different implements. Sometimes delivered by one, sometimes delivered by both. Sometimes delivered unison with similar sensations, sometimes irritatingly different. Interspersed with gentle periods, with being caressed. And combinations of both. Being able to look into the eyes of one while the other is delivering impact is just wonderful.
This part deserves so much more description, but I can’t give it. I was flying.
Both got me down and back into this world gently. Thank you for being so unhurried.
Some of the burning stayed with me on the way home (skin on skin contact and movement...), all evening even after a shower (which may have made it worse on the back), but fading into a nice warmth at bedtime, and I even felt it under my backpack the next day. It’s been three days now and everything is healing nicely.
Sandra’s skin recovered remarkably fast:
Read here about my side of the session.
