ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS III.: Communication
Communication is crucial in impact play—not only as a method of induction (as in establishing trust, managing expectations, boundaries, etc.), but also in shaping the experience itself. The power of communication should never be underestimated! The placebo effect is a compelling example of how important belief, expectation, and interpersonal suggestions are: approximately 35% of patients report substantial pain relief after receiving a placebo. That’s half of the effect of morphine, which relieves pain in about 70% of patients!
Image courtesy of Stefan Keller of Pixabay
In altered states, the brain processes communication differently. People typically become less verbal and more receptive to nonverbal cues, tone of voice, and emotional context. Their cognitive bandwidth narrows, making short, direct instructions far more effective than abstract or complex language. Individuals become more open to direction—not in a blindly obedient way, but because the usual critical filters are softened. This makes trust and safety crucial. For example, if a Top accidentally delivers a strike harder than intended, the way they respond can either reinforce safety or break the scene's emotional integrity - much more than outside the scene. A simple acknowledgment—paired with lessening intensity—can maintain trust. In contrast, panicking or overly apologizing may trigger anxiety in the person being flogged, and the flow is broken.
A few key points:
Always make sure you have a pre-agreed system of breaks in place. Whether it’s the traffic light system (red-yellow/orange-green) or a more subtle system of 1-10 as communicating the level of discomfort, it is absolutely cruical.
Keep instructions concise and concrete. Short, direct phrases are easier to process than long or tentative ones. For example:
Instead of “could you place your hand a little lower?” → say “hands on head-level” or “hands behind your back.”
Instead of “maybe turn around a little?” → say “face the wall.”
Avoid multi-step instructions. Break complex requests into single actions: instead of “turn around and kneel on the pillow,” say “turn around” → pause → “kneel on the pillow.”
Avoid negation. In altered states, the brain often misses the “not” and only hears the action word.
Instead of “don’t turn your head” → say “keep your head straight” or “look forward.”
Instead of “don’t bend your knees” → say “keep your legs straight.”
Use language carefully. In a hyperfocused state, every word carries heightened importance.
Once a session begins, I like to avoid negatively loaded words like “pain.” I replace it with more neutral or constructive terms: “intensity,” “pressure,” “the floggers touching your skin.”
The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication
Altered state of communication is primarily non-verbal. People differ how much they go from verbal to non-verbal ways of expressing themselves, but since most people don’t know about their tendencies, we have to prepare this part during pre-negotiations and be open to non-verbal signs of the journey throught the session. Non-verbal cues like hand signals, gestures, or changes in posture become vital for maintaining safety and connection.
Pre-agreed signals. As the second line of safety I like to establish simple cues before play begins. For example:
A raise of the hand = “pause.”
Two taps on the leg = “stop immediately.”
Facial expressions and body language. Generally speaking (though not always), large muscle movements such as squatting, arching the back, or rising onto tiptoes tend to signal good pain - sensations the body is processing as intense but still welcome. In contrast, small, protective reactions like clenching the fingers, pulling the head in, or sudden shifts of the legs are more often signs of bad pain or discomfort. When in doubt - as always - the best approach is to check in and clarify.
Breath as a signal. Deep, steady breathing may indicate flow, while shallow breathing can show distress or over-stimulation.
Touch as reassurance. A grounding hand on the back, shoulder, or hip can re-establish connection without interrupting the flow. I also like to keep the body-to-body contact when I change my floggers so we don’t interrupt the flow.
Eye contact. Exchanging brief eye contact can serve as a quick check-in, especially if your person is drifting far into trance.
Consistency builds trust. Using the same non-verbal system over time helps both partners respond intuitively, even when your person cannot speak.
Take Communication to the Next Level
I personally like use the person’s own language to be a central ancor for communication. For example, once a woman told me during pre-negotiations that she would like to levitate. So during our session I regularly checked in with her and asked if “she is lifting off”, if “she is above ground” and checked in before the most intense part if she is ready to “levitate”. I provided the experience she asked for the way she wanted to have it.
Yet someone once asked for my heaviest flogger just five minutes into our session - long before he was ready for that experience. So I built in a little game: I encouraged him to withstand my other floggers first, offering his body for my “girls” to play with. When the time was right, and I clearly communicated it, I finally brought out my heaviest flogger. In that moment, the balance of our power-play was restored, and I could safely guide us into the most intense part of the session.
In my experience 95% of people give me something personal, usually relating to the experience that you can use in the interaction. Use that information to take the session to the next level. Good luck and be creative!
In the next part (Part 3) we will explore the parts of the session that are beyond our control. Genetics and their state of mind that they brought with them to the session.